I had to leave

I was saddened today when I had to cancel my membership to Haitian Angels yahoo board. It was a board designed for families adopting from Haiti where you could chat, get current info on adoptions, and ask all the ?'s you'd ever need to ask. For the last 3 days a vicious fight has been taking place regarding 20 or more concerened families that are adopting from a particular orphanage. They were accussing people of lying, abuse, fraud, you name it. Well other people came to the defense of the O and attacked back, it even went so far as someone saying that they regretted their husband was fighting in Iraq to save people on the group. It was digressing further with personal attacks, like these people shouldn't even be allowed to adopt, and the children they have should be taken from them. I felt tainted by certain peoples opinions, and felt privy to private info that I had no way of knowing what was truth or not. My opinions were being shifted and I felt like I was sinning by listening to all this gossip, even though I never participated. So I said that I was repulsed, and thanked all the people that had been kind, but I said goodbye after 1 1/2yrs. I kinda feel like I am losing my support team, but oh well I am also losing all this stress and negativity. This is about the third fight I'd witnessed, the moderator did say this morning that the topic was closed and anyone that talked further would be kicked off, but the damage was already done. Several people left the group, along with some poor women who just joined last week, who said she was so dismayed to see people claiming to be christians acting so poorly. I still have contact with my adoptions facilitator, so I won't be completely out of the loop.

I just finished testing Evan, and he scored very well also. He was on target with Math (3rd grade), he was a 2nd grade speller, and his reading comprehension was fair. I have to work on creative writing with both the big boys, they have no concept of how to properly create a sentence, let alone a short story.

It got me

Well I have caught my first cold in over a year. That nasty booger has finally got me, I've been able to ward them off so well in the past but this one snuck up on me and I was caught unprepared. Usually if I feel the slightest irritation, or sneeze to many times, or have that funny feeling I start drinking tons of echinacea tea, (4-6 cups a day), and I take garlic. I never got even one cold last year, but several attempted to get me.

In other news I gave Austin a placement test that a local homeschooling christian school gives for its enrollment. He has never had any kind of testing (standardized), he should of had one a couple of years ago, but that didn't work out, and then last year Tonya was going to give it to our big boys, however she had to travel to Ukraine for some cute little reason, and then she moved to Alabama. So this year I will have him tested at this school, but in the meantime it drives a insecure homeschooling mother like me crazy not knowing if he is even remotely close to other kids his age, is he retaining any info, and such. I am considering sending them there next year and I was dying to see how he would place in this classical school that uses a charlotte mason approach. He is 10 yrs old and if he started kindergarten at 5 he would be in the 5th grade, but lots of boys don't start kindergarten till they are 6, so he could be in the 4th grade. I was hoping that he would at least be somewhere in the middle. They use Saxon math and that is what we use, so he scored well in the math dept. It said he was on a 6th grade level. I was thrilled although he has a few gaps that need filling which we are working on this year. The history part was for 5th and 6th graders and he knew most of the info. There were only 10 or so ?'s, and he missed 3, but they were stuff that we haven't covered yet like the state capitals, and the past presidents. In public school that is usually done in 5th or 6th grade. His reading comprehension was very good, and that was for 4-6th grade so he was right on track there as well. The only bomb was in spelling, which I knew was not he strong point, but as he reads more it will improve, so I'm not to concerned about it. He tested in 3rd grade for spelling. I must say that spelling test was pretty hard, they had a lot of the trickier words like, fourths, width, and scissors. Anyway I was very pleased with his performance, I gave it to him cold turkey, with no warning or reviewing. The only thing that was a big problem was his speed, if this had been standardized testing he would have failed the math part because it took him 1 1/2 hours to complete the 30 ?'s, so we need to start making up the pace. I think I will start using a timer more often when we do math.

Dinner

While sitting with my boys at dinner tonight (alone), I was instructing them on good manners, polite dinner conversations, how fortunate we are that we have never been hungry, etc. I threw in the starving children of Africa gig, even though now it should change to the starving children of Haiti, well the older boys seemed interested in the Africa stories so I thought it was going pretty good until Luke blurts out " you spend way to much time talking about this stuff," I would just eat what I got and think of ways to get more food." "It's too bad they don't have more food but so what" I said something like, "Luke, you should feel sorry for people that aren't as blessed as you." "I am trying to teach you to be grateful for what you have and teach you how to be a caring boy." he continues with " I don't think its working," "you ought to be more like Stripey (the cat who had just walked in), she just eats what you give her and she doesn't talk so much while she's eating." "I want to be like Stripey," she wears baggy pants, has got some gold chains, and raps."

You know I really try with that child, but I am beside myself. I feel like laughing and crying all at the same time, is it possible to go insane at the dinner table? While it makes for good blogging, and while some of my friends and family still like him, I wonder if I will spend the rest of my life apologizing to everyone that crosses paths with him. When I got my haircut, I asked the boys what they thought,
Austin "pretty good, I'll have to get used to it"
Evan "I liked it better long, that is pretty short"
Luke " Nope, not good, not good at all"

SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our lovely girl in lavender

l

A born poser.

Her lovely face is on the balloon, in case you can't tell

New Hair

I had some awful before pics that Evan my professional photographer took, but while scanning them to the computer I erased them w/o knowing it and then proceeded to erase all the memory in my camera, so alas these are the only photos I have of my beautifying experience. I only managed to get these after scanning the yard for a willing photographer, killing a wasp, and rescuing Stripey from the black moron, hence the sweaty brow, smearing makeup, and flat hair. I also was only able to find an amateur photographer, Luke is not nearly as gifted in the art of photo making as Evan. Oh well, I really like my hair, every frizzy dead end is gone, along with the orange brassiness at the ends, the only problem is my grays seem to be so much more prominent and now my face looks awful. I don't think $26 bucks can fix that though.

Neglectful

I have been a neglectful blogger as of late, but my life consist of homeschool, housework, and work at the old house. That is where Nate is at this moment. I'm pretty stressed out but that seems to be the story of my life. I am learning to be content in all circumstances, but some are harder than others. I am trying to remind myself on a daily basis what a blessing it is to be able to work, raise my children how I see fit, and be able to worship with a wonderful church family. I don't want my children to grow up in a bubble, so I have to make an effort to bring the world inside our home, since we don't venture out into it very often. What I mean is that I am bringing magazines like Voice of the Martyrs into our home classroom, I also read to them what is going on in the news, like hurricanes, missing men in utah mines, things like that, so that they don't forget why we homeschool (so they can make a difference in the world), and so that they don't think the world doesn't resolve around them. My greatest concern is raising fabulous children that grow up to raise fabulous children but never impact the lost world. My goal isn't just to make them smart, good fathers, and husbands that love the lord in their homes, but fail to take the love of God outside. I want them to understand and see the vision that God has for them. I want them to know WHY they specifically were created. We are always discussing what they will be when they grow up, but also what role they will have in the kingdom, and what can they do now to help them achieve those goals.

A Moment

Nate just took all the boys and their dirt bikes into the woods to do some clearing for more paths. I am supposed to be cleaning up the gigantic mess from dinner, but I decided to pop over to the computer to blog otherwise I will never get around to it tonight. I fall into bed every night so exhausted that I can barely help myself from sounding like a whiney 2 yr old. I moan and complain and oooh and aahh over the sheets. I'm kinda of a mess. Our life is so very hectic, getting back to school has proven to be difficult, especially since I have added Luke to the mix this year full time. Our day in a nutshell

Cleanliness gets in here somewhere, if I'm lucky.

7:00 rise and shine, Nate heads to the gym, I lay in bed till 20 after 7, that's when he leaves.

7:30 till 8:00 or 8:30 when I get the boys up to start the day, is when I have my God time (most days) they usually get up right around 8.

8:30-9:30 morning house chores, and an outside chore while it's still cool enough. Right now they are weeding a different area of the yard everyday.

9:30-10:00 is when school starts, we don't have a regimented schedule, I usually never start school with a subject they hate doing, most of the time it is bible, handwriting, or science that we start off with.

12:00-12:30 is when we take an hour or 1 1/2 lunch break, after they eat they have been riding dirt bikes or heading to the creek.

1:30-2:00 we are back at it, usually with math and spanish in the afternoon, I will add spelling to the afternoon, since that is done on the computer and they like it.

We are done with school between 3 and 4, then they do some afternoon chores, like unload the dishwasher, vaccum the kitchen and school room, fold and put away laundry, clean toilets, and sinks. During the lunch break, I will check emails and blogs, and get whatever we are having for dinner ready. If I know my day will be interupted by an appointment or trip to the store, we try to double up on the easier stuff the day before. Today during our lunch break I called Tonya to chat and catch up, she is going through the same thing as I, only with more children, so I can only imagine, our lives have definitley become more challenging, but I feel committed to the process, at least for this year. I am surely being stretched and molded into a new creature, I only hope it is a good creature, and not one that you would see in a horror movie. So far I've been pretty patient with the kids, they've only had to confront me a couple of times for talking ugly to them. lol They are learning early what it means to confront in love. They all seem to be happier, and for the most part have better attitudes. I should go into the kitchen, but I may just hop on my bike and try out the trails, big momma (as Nate calls me) has yet to try them out. I need to make sure I can still ride though, because it's been awhile, and I do get chicken if it's been to long, and some of the paths are steep.

Thrills and Frills

Friday,Austin, Evan, and Nate headed to six flags to meet up with Noah, Micah and Landon for a scorching day of thrills. The temp here was 103, so I can only imagine how hot it was in Atlanta on the hot concrete. The boys had a blast even though Evan won't touch a roller coaster or anything that resembles a coaster. He probably rode 3 or 4 things, but I guess hanging out with the cousins was enough fun. I almost could have had a day off, but alas little luey was stuck to me like glue all day. I was planning on having a fun day with him, but we sorta ran out of stuff to do. I took him to swim at papa's pool, but the wasps were filling up on water so frequently that we couldn't get in, there were a dozen or more in the pool at any given time. We did do a little visiting, had lunch at Mc'D and, played a few rounds of yahtzee jr, and rented Tom and Jerry for the evening.

Saturaday was a non-stop work day at the old house (yuck), I will say no more, except that those people that wanted the house can't afford it, we came down 13,000 but they still couldn't swing it, and we aren't going any lower.

We did have a bright spot on sat though, Jenny(sil) works at a furniture store in town, and they were massively dicounting a sofa and loveseat. There are some problems with it, it was basically butchered in the assembly line, but it is really not noticeable unless you are looking for defects, there are also a few scratches on the wood that can be touched up easily, and the loveseat is missing it's back feet. No problem for us though because papa has a wood shop. Anyway we got this really pretty set for a whopping $300 bucks. I love a deal, I really live for stuff like this, it's perfect because it really is beautiful and looks great in the living room, plus the furniture that was in here could be moved to the basement, which was devoid of furniture. If the stuff gets messed up by the kids, at least we didn't pay thousands of dollars for it.

Dirt Bikes, Laundry and Love

We have been spending what little free time we have in the evenings clearing trails through the woods for the dirt bikes. The heat has been extreme this week, I think I heard them say 101 today, plus all the humidity that comes with the south. We have made one trail already, and last night connected another one to it. Although this has been fun for Nate and the boys, it has left me with an unbelievable amount of laundry, and if you know me you know that I hate, hate, HATE laundry. When it's dirty, it's exploding out of hampers or laying on the floor, when it's clean it's in drawers that nobody sees anyway. I need to do chores that reward me by looking better, something tangible. Anyway with all the sweating, and getting filthy every time they ride my laundry situation has hit critical, you should see their socks (oh my). The man and boys are going through 3 outfits a day, there is a creek outfit maybe two if they go twice, a riding outfit, and then a inside the house outfit. I am truly not complaining, I am soooo glad that they are outside doing things, just being boys, and last night when we were walking through the creek Luke runs up to me with a tiny little turkey feather, he hands it to me and says "this is so you will always remember my love" AWWW. That's what it's all about it, being a happy mom, getting dirty with my kids, and making memories for the future. I will always remember the love.

The Old House

As you know people moving face many challenges, the biggest one to me is dealing with the old house. I've moved out and on with my life and I hate to have to go back to the old place to clean, and pack up all the old stuff (trash and Junk) that wasn't allowed to be thrown away. I spent thurs, fri, and Sat over there doing stuff, like scraping old windows, cleaning the place where the washer and dryer once sat (yuck). There was however one unbelievable event that transpired on sat. Friday night Nate put the for sale by owner sign out, and while we were there working on sat, a husband and wife stopped by to ask us about the house. To make a long story short, the man's mother who now lives with he and his wife, grew up in that house. The man's mother lived there till she married and moved out of the house, so his grandparents lived there till they sold the house to my in laws. My house has an incredible history of owners. These people thta came by were the original family who sold it to my in laws, so that Nate and his siblings were mostly raised there, then the Elmers who have a son that is still Nates best friend and his sister who is in my sidebar as one of my friends (Fritz files) rented it for a year before my in laws sold it to some people named Pollard, who their daughter after being raised there became one of my close friends, then her parents sold the house to us, so that we had the chance to raise our boys in the same house their dad grew up in, (same wallpaper in Austins room that was there when Nate was a boy), now we are trying to sell the house back to the original owners, Toccoa really is a small world. I hope you followed all that, because it really is an amazing story. We are waiting to here back from them tonight, they made us an offer last night and have to meet with their banker to see if they can be approved. I don't know if this will work out or not, but I sure hope so, for one thing, it would be fantastic to have had our house on the market for a day and a half, and also I would feel so happy to know that this couples mother would spend her remainning days in her childhood home. We love the house, it has sentimental value to us as well for a number of reasons and I think this would be a perfect ending to this chapter in our lives. Boy my sentence structure stinks, but I'm leaving it as is.

Update on Dania

I am diverting from my schedule this morning to update on all that has happened with my dossier and my adoption. Basically nothing has happened for the last 2 months, I was just notified last night that my file along with 23 others is being "studied" and awaiting signature to go on to the next phase. I found out one of the problems about why this is taking so long. There is a law on the books in Haiti from 1974 that states only childless couples will be eligible to adopt, but the need was always so great that all govt. officials would usually by pass the law, well every time the govt cleans house and gets in new people, they don't want to be accussed of neglecting the law, so it becomes a touchy situation. They have in the past always got permission to by pass, but it just slows everything down. So the pattern for Haiti has been up and down for years, for a while adoptions will just fly through, but then someone corrupts the system and they take their sweet time, then the govt cleans house and replaces people with hopefully better people, but they tend to be cautious of the law or don't care about their job. They are trying to get that law changed, but once again we are dealing with a 3rd world country, so who knows what will happen.

Since so many people ask me on a weekly basis how I am doing with all this, I thought that I would take a minute and write about how I have felt through this whole process. This is not my first child so I do not have all the nervousness and uncertainty that comes along with the 1st. This whole process has been smooth to me, although pretty long, we are now in our 18th month, at least 3 or 4 of those months were our delaying the process. One of my life's motto has been "good things come to those that wait", I have said that 1000 times if I've said it once. I say it to myself, others, and my children constantly. Dania is fine where she is because she has the one true God as her father until we get there. I truly believe that God's timing is best, that being anxious is a lack of faith in the one that says he will be a father to the fatherless, and through this whole thing God has revealed himself to me in so many ways that I have never really understood before. It seems that every few weeks I gain some little insight or tidbit into the character of God, and it is slowly transforming me. When we decided to adopt I knew that there was a grander purpose than just adding another member to our family, or changing the life of one little girl. God has given me a greater vision for the oprphans of the world, for what it means to be a child of God and adopted into his kingdom, the list goes on and on. I feel called to stand patiently and wait for what the lord has for me in this life. I do long for her to be a part of this family and share with us the blessings that our merciful God has given us. I can't wait to see what her personality adds to our family, and how she will change us all, but for now all I can do is be like the persistent widow who knocks on the door of heaven, and to me that knocking doesn't look or sound frantic, frustrated, angry, or hopeless. I can hardly wait to see how this chapter in our lives plays out, I'm pretty sure it will be a best seller.