24

Not the tv show, but how long I have left till the company christmas party at my home. Things have fallen into place nicely thanks to help from the whole family. Thanks all who have and will help. I am slightly looking forward to the party but as of yet have nothing to wear. The main reason for my happiness is the food of course.

Here is the menu:
Blackened chicken Alfredo
Spicy Jumbo Cajun shrimp
Marinated eye of round roast with horseradish sauce
Creamed potatoes
Marinated Vegetables

Spinach Artichoke dip and crackers
international cheese board
Veggies and dip

Cheesecake with fresh strawberry topping
Lemon Cream Cheese bars
Chocolate and Carmel Brownie delight

See why I am so happy, and I get to keep the leftovers.

I know that I have been shallow lately on my blog, but real life has had so much seriousness and drama that I have had little to offer elsewhere. The funny thing is that I don't feel to drained or to tired or to overwhelmed. I feel like a never ending black hole that just keeps taking it in. I mean that in a good way.

Baby Nate comes home tonight and for that I am very very glad. I do not ever want to be a single parent to 3 boys. I tip my hat to any mother out there who finds herself raising sons alone.

I am dreaming of walking along a warm beach on some tropical island once the holidays are over. (notice I said dreaming not planning) I love, love cold weather during the holidays but once they are over the winter drags. On the other hand I only want it to be hot if I'm at the beach which is not very often or for very long. By favorite seasons go in this order. fall, spring, winter, summer.

Oh Christmas Tree

Remember when I said that I don't do fake trees, well I am having to reconsider my stance after searching today for a 8 to 10ft tree that does not cost $70. Yikes, I have been in the closet so long that I didn't know that the Christmas tree business had turned to the dark side, coaxing you in with signs of $29.95 only to secure you on their lot and then get you sucked in. I don't think that I will be able to resist them though because once I got that live tree smell on my hands I kept inhaling and my rational thoughts would become cloudy and confused.

I made chilli the old fashioned way that is with beans soaked overnight. Usually I do the canned method because it is easy. There is a big difference though and it is worth the tiny bit of effort to think the night before and get the beans soaking.

Baby Nate has not called me once while away. I had to call him to confirm the number of guests we will have at the party this weekend. He knows how much I love to hear about the food he gets to be eating at these events, I don't understand why he has failed to comply with my rule. (describe in detail what you ate and the people at your table ate) Is that so hard?

Do you like yourself?

Saturday was the grandfathers day to babysit the kids. First my dad came over to watch the kids so my mom and I could get in a little shopping, then my fil came over at 5pm so that Sandi, Celeste and I could go see the movie Enchanted. The movie was cute by the way. Nate left for Florida about 9am on Sat so I was anticipating a long boring weekend, but thanks to my nice dads it turned out to be very pleasant. Church was sparsely attended yesterday due to the holidays but it was good anyway.

There was a line in the movie where the servant of the queen asked the prince if he liked himself and the prince replied confidently "whats not to like?" It got me thinking about how many people actually like themselves. I am not talking about feeling Gods love for you or if other people like you. I am talking about good ole fashioned appreciation for yourself as an individual. Do I like my temperament and personality?, do I like myself as a friend, wife, mother? Would I want to keep company with myself? I think that there is a difference between self importance which would be arrogance and pride and an appreciation for yourself as a unique person created in the image of God for his glory on earth. So many times people feel shame if they like themselves because they think that they are loving themselves and somehow that must be sinful, or they don't like themselves at all and are filled with self loathing which is actually pride also because that is negative focus on yourself. I want my children to really like themselves without being self loving and prideful. I want them to have esteem but not from themselves but through the eyes of God. (God esteem) I hope to be able to teach them to see themselves realistically but humbly as well. I want them to know what their weaknesses are and be able to handle it w/o guilt and shame, but at the same time see their strengths and really like who they are. Overall I like myself and yet I feel slightly embarrassed to write that.

Thanksgiving

Well thanksgiving is a 2 day holiday for our family because usually everybody comes over Friday for lunch and dinner. This year Tonya headed back to Alabama Thurs so she did not partake of the ongoing festivities. This was the first year I have ever hosted Thanksgiving and I must say that I throughly enjoyed it. We had 19 for dinner and then the extended family and a friend came over for dessert to bring the grand total to 34 people. We were full but not overcrowded. This was a very stressless day thanks to Mom, Celeste, Sandi, and Tonya who all contributed to our feast, I even had time to stop by moms before lunch and go to the grocery store to get ingredients for a cabbage dish I decided to make last minute. My company has just left tonight and now my house is BEAUTIFUL for Christmas. I borrowed lots of my mil's decorations and Sandi and I decked the halls today along with my decorating guru of a husband. We put our fake tree in the sunroom with colored lights, but we will have to get a real tree for the living room that is at least 7-8 ft high, due to the high ceilings our smaller tree just didn't look right. I am not in the least bit sorry though because for at least 3 years we've had a fake tree and this girl does not do fake well.

As far as being thankful goes, the list is to long. That doesn't mean that everything is perfect with my life, it just means that I am thankful for everything that transpires to make me into something beautiful and complete. Life is good!

I'm back from the dead

Well almost dead anyway. Saturday afternoon I finally turned the corner and felt like yes I could stand in the shower for 10 minutes to get clean. This was the sickest I've been in several yrs. but thankfully I didn't have the stomach flu at the same time.

I will be running from now till Christmas I think. I am hosting Thanksgiving at my house this year, that means quite a lot of people will be here. My parents are coming, the in laws are coming, and Tonya and crew will be here also along with Uncle Doug and Aunt Sandi, and Uncle Bubba. The only problem with my fab new house is the fact that they only installed one wall oven and in a kitchen and house this size that doesn't make sense. So I will be baking my cheesecake tonight and my cabbage casserole tomorrow so that thurs I can give the oven to the turkey. The day after turkey day we have to put up our family christmas tree due to the fact that Nate will be leaving for Florida on Sat and not returning until friday. The CTS christmas party is being hosted at my house this year and is on the sat after he returns, so the house has to be decorated for christmas by then. I was having a major freaker while I was sick because I had not been able to get in touch with the caterer to get the menu options from her and I wasn't even sure she was still going to do it. Luckily Monday she shows up at my house with ideas and menu options that look fabulous. She has a staff of up to 30 people if need be so I felt reassured that I wasn't hiring some local yocal to cater the party. Then the week after the party we will be leaving to go to Williamsburg Va for a week. It is the 200 yr anniversary of Williamsburg and the 250 yr celebration of Jamestown. (I think) I have no idea yet when we will fit christmas shopping into the schedule but rest assured if you are on my list you will still get your present.

My mom just left after helping me clean my house for Thanksgiving, I know it will be messy the moment all the cousins arrive but I wanted the germs gone. Plus I am still weak and tired from laying around for 5 days.

In other news: I was talking to Luke about having a respectful attitude with his mother while she is speaking to him and he looks at me and says "I'm tired of your old looking face talking all the time." Do you think I'm reaching him?

In shocking news: While I was sick Nate went to the furniture store and bought a sofa table w/out me having seen it first. Is that weird or what? Luckily I love it.

Sick

I have the flu or strep throat. Luckily my dear husband took the children with him to work yesterday for the first half of the day so I could sleep and then took off the rest of the day at home so I could sleep. He took them again this morning but brought them back at lunch. I am doped up on Tylenol and Advil so I am managing today.

In adoption news, I heard today that they can't find some forms that I just resubmitted 2 weeks ago. (this is not holding up the process) I also found out that I am still stuck in parquet. Parquet should have taken no longer than 2 months but I've been in since May, they are now requiring presidential approval if you have any bio children. This is beyond maddening, but thankfully it is not in my hands but God's.

Work

We had to go to Nate's shop today and work on Major Paintball stuff. He no longer has anyone running his paintball business and since he is swamped with CTS he hasn't had time to fill orders so the boys and I headed out to help. I was dreading it but it turned out not to be such a bad day after all.

With all the drama surrounding me this last month you would think that my arch enemy( anxiety) would be trying to throw me down, but I have to joyfully report that so far I have got the better of it, not the other way around. I am so happy that even though things are crazy God is sustaining me and I feel pretty good, except for being tired. This is teaching me that God is faithful to complete the work that he starts no matter how long it takes. I have by no means reached the place that I hope to one day be, but I have definitely seen some vast improvements in this area. Yea! The battle to fight sometimes seems so long and tiresome, but if you don't give up you will see your reward, or at least progress.

Strange

I noticed that Pat Robertson is endorsing Rudy for President. Hmm. It seems that the leader of CBN is highly concerned about terrorism and the threats all around. Abortion and Gay rights have taken a backseat which surprises me coming from the 700 Club.

Nate and I spent the evening working on a schedule for me. I have been REALLY struggling these last few weeks to keep all the balls in the air. The kids have been neglected and I've been in a slump, so Nate has graciously agreed to help me see where I need more structure in my day, and where I can fit in things like talking on the phone and blogging. I am not very good at self motivation so this should give me a little kick start.

Evan is sick with a fever today, so far nothing else seems to be bothering him.

On the cooking front, today was potato soup day. It was a blustery cold day and that calls for potato soup. You can really dress up potato soup but I prefer it simple, just onions, celery, garlic (of course) and potatoes. I do use whole milk to make it nice and creamy.

Soap opera city

I have no other way to describe our lives right now but to compare it to some really bad soap opera. This week has been one that will go down in the family history books. I can't even discuss it now so I'm just going to hit the highs and lows.
HIGHS
Tonya and crew came for a visit.
Aunt Tammy came from CA for a visit.
We rode the Great Smokey Mtn railway.

LOWS
We've been verbally attacked
Jacket bit nephew Silas in the throat
Nate shot Jacket
Austin tearful and sad
Evan angry and hateful to God and us
Brother in law very angry
Me angry back
Sil angry
divorce proceeding underway for the guy living with us
business theft
drama,drama and more drama

That is what has been happening here this last week, not to mention company every night but tonight. I will probably not process emotions about all this on the blog, but at least you have a clue of the craziness.

ALL Aboard

Evan waits to board the train

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it.

Cute Cousins

The petting zoo, it only consisted of goats, but the tiny babies were sooo cute.

Mr. Uncle Doug and Aunt Tammy looking super cool

Aunt Tammy and Aunt Sandi cracking up over something

Evan's white pumpkin

A new way to bob for apples

Austin tries to heave his pumpkin up to his shoulder

Luey picks a little one.