The morning cool list

I have no idea what this is, but apparently Luke thinks it is a vital part of a kids life. He has been walking around gathering things for the morning cool list. He had my Tic Tacs for his pocket to make a cool sound, he had Nate's skull bandanna for some "other coolness," and he has been trying to think of cool things to say. He asked me if I had a cool list when I was a girl, but I had to be truthful and tell him that his mother was far from cool when she was a girl. He looked aghast at the thought of his mother being anything but cool. I told him I was weird when I was a girl but that didn't seem to be impressive. Oh to remain this way in his eyes for just a little longer.

My camera has died again, so that is why the meal pictures have been lacking. Once I find the charger I will continue with meals, but probably only document the good stuff. Why would I need to document a turkey sandwich? Before the camera died, I was able to take a picture of something wonderful on Saturday morning. My dear Nate cooked me a breakfast of homemade waffles and bacon. To some this may seem trivial, but Nate has never COOKED me anything before, and to savor the moment in all its glory I ate while he was still cooking. Normally I am the last one to eat since I tell them to eat while it is hot, especially when making things like waffles where you can only cook one at a time. I so relished the treat, and Nate got a kick out of how excited I was to be eating while he was cooking. The kitchen is one place where I definitely dominate and rule, there is no role swapping in that room of the house. He will occasionally load the dishwasher for me, or make me toast, or a sandwich if I am incapacitated, but alas he had not even begun to master cooking until now. I think this was a first for all involved. The good news is that he said I could expect it again. YEA!

I hate to admit it but I have succumbed to shopping therapy. It actually does make one feel elated to get a good deal. I finally spent a small amount of money on some house decor. My living room only had 2 small sconces on the wall, and now I have a lovely cottage picture behind the sofa, and a fireplace screen. The dining room received a mirror and 2 sconces plus 2 small pictures of bluebirds. The master bath got a picture that has a red iris flower on a gold background, the frame is really dark brown and matches the bedroom. These small touches has made the house so much homier.

Events of the Day

I have to say that although we did almost no school, due to the fabulous spring weather, and some meet and greets with the neighbors, it was a very productive day. I was beginning to wonder about my neighborhood, it is soooo quiet. No one ever seems to be out, even the other 6 or 7 children that live here. A week or so ago when I was out walking on another beautiful day, I heard no sounds of life from anywhere in people's yards. I was listening for people eating out of doors, working in their yards or walking their dogs, but nothing was to be heard. Today while walking I met an elderly couple that just had some recent landscaping done that I like, so I stopped to chat and they said "come back often, it's just the 2 of us." 5 houses up from me live 2 men that just had a pool put in their back yard over the winter. We talked for 1/2 hour, and they invited the boys and I to swim this summer any time we want, since they are gone mostly during the day. Yea! I was so happy about that because the boys will probably be taking swimming lessons again this year and now they can practice close to home a lot more often, and I can work on my tan in privacy. All he requested was to be invited over for dinner once in a while or have me donate a home cooked meal to him and his partner since neither of them know how to cook much besides a hamburger or chicken breast on the grill. I am also pretty excited about being able to show genuine Jesus love to them. I only hope I can keep a reign on Luke's indiscriminate mouth.

In adoption news, I heard from my friend Christy (sidebar) that a friend of hers who is adopting from Haiti and has been stuck in parquet for about as long as I have been just got signed out today. Yea! That is really good news even for me because that guy was refusing to sign documents, so this means that something has happened to change his mind. It at least gives me hope that he won't sit on my file for years to come. It does not mean that I will get signed out anytime soon, but it is a good sign nonetheless. Christy said that they had all got together on Wed to pray for her, and today she hears the good news. Maybe I should throw out a fleece and hold a blog prayer meeting. My next project is Dania's room, I will be purchasing a mattress and bedding within the next few weeks and start pulling her room together.

I started taking some whole foods vitamins today after meeting with a nutritionist here in town that does free evaluations. You fill out a big ole questionnaire about your health history and issues and they tell you what vitamins you are lacking. In case you think this is a giant scam, it's not. The whole foods vitamins are very cheap. I paid $9 for one and $10 for the other, hardly more than the synthetic vitamins at walmart. I was really lacking in the B department, and surprise, surprise sugar is a B robber in your body. I am also taking a multivitamin. I will let you know how this progresses and works for me. I am setting my sights on getting Nate to do one, because I know he is messed up.

When all was said and done

The hunt begins

A quick shot of the food

The menu was 2 hams
onion and mushroom casserole
green beans (with too much garlic)
potato salad (mom)
biscuits (mom in law)
orange jello salad (mom in law)
hard boiled eggs

cheesecake
apple pecan cheesecake
strawberry delight (Aunt Sandi)

Why do we even bother?

I was making fun of Tonya taking a hundred pictures trying to get the "perfect" shot, and now I see why. I didn't like any of our pictures. The kids always look sorta cute, but Nate and I on the other hand look sick and cheese like. If we ever look good at the same time then the picture is great as long as the kid's eyes are open.

Let's try just the kids

We took a break from the photo shoot

And we try and we try....

Perhaps if we sit up here, we will look better

The mayhem for the perfect shot

Before church

Good things come to those who wait

This has definitely become my life's mantra. I know it is not scriptural, but I believe it is a godly attribute none the less. I have repeated this phrase to my friends and family for years. Sometimes I get the rolling eyes and "I know, I know" from my kids, but it doesn't deter me from continually saying it. I have reaped so many benefits from living this way and as I was pondering the situation with Dania I began to see it transcend that area as well. I will start at the beginning of my journey in learning to wait.

The story begins in 1994 when Nate and I first got married. He was working for his Dad and I was a secretary working for $7 an hour. We decided not to use ANY of the money I made, and after tithing on it the rest went straight into a savings account. My coworkers and some friends that had 2 incomes were buying new cars and indulging in some really nice vacations, sometimes I would come home from work and whine to Nathan about our stuff, and he would always say, "do you want to enjoy a few years right now, or do you want to enjoy the rest of your life." Thus began the mantra in my head, I would tell myself all the time "good things come to those who wait." Because we were learning to deny ourselves it was easier to save some of Nate's money as well and after 2 years of marriage we took $600 out of savings, put the tent in the back of our 1986 chocolate Toyota corolla and headed west. We went to the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone for 12 days of one of the best trips of our lives to date. I got pregnant that fall and began to plan for early retirement and a move out of our apartment into something more permanent. We had saved $15,000 by then and a mobile home was looking like our best option. I can't tell you how I dreaded living in a trailer. I did not grow up in the south, and I had never really seen them except in trailer parks far from where I lived. However we could buy a used one that was only a couple years old for $15,000 so we decided that for 3 years we would live in that trailer with no mortgage or rent and save money. 3 years turned to 7 and one sweet baby in a 2 bedroom trailer turned to 3 sweet children under foot 24/7. My mantra became my sanity during those long, difficult years of waiting for a "real" house. Financially we were set up in a way that alleviated a lot of stress that young marrieds so often face. It was so difficult to be a stay at home mom and live in cramped quarters and depression started to affect me at that time. I didn't know that my second pregnancy knocked my already unstable hormones into overdrive, and thus began my second journey of learning that good things come to those who wait.

In 1997 anxiety, sickness and depression became a constant companion. I would spend the next 7 years fighting a spiritual and physical battle that drove me into the presence of God like I had never known before. In the beginning I kept my struggle to myself and tried to find peace, but as I got worse my pride and shame crumbled and everyone knew of my trials. I was begging God for healing, I was asking my friends for constant prayer, and I was trying to raise 3 small boys. I couldn't understand why God was allowing me to suffer for so long. We fasted, we prayed, I sought medical help and I waited and waited. Looking back now I can see how it was good to have to wait. My relationship with the Lord was solidified in a way that I can't explain, somehow that ordeal gave me a faith that I would never have had. I also am so grateful now for good health. I used to wake up every day nauseous, weary, and sick. It was a struggle to go anywhere, even the grocery store was torture. Probably 2 or 3 days don't pass that I am not so grateful for my health and appreciate it. I also have so much more compassion for people with chronic illness or pain.

Finally in regards to Dania I see how this wait has caused my heartstrings to become attached to her. If we had just flown through this process I know that I would not have loved her or valued the experience like I do now. The wait for her has taught me so much about God's love for us, how he pursues us, and his longing for us to be reconciled to him. All that I have learned thus far in this adoption is for a post of its own, but I can't help but include her in this one because she is the reason I have been saying to myself recently, "good things come to those who wait." Waiting for things that we desire is so important for our character development. I must have had lots to learn because the story of my life seems to be "hurry up and wait." I can't say for certain about Dania yet, but in the other areas of my life I can see how God's timing is perfect. I still don't understand all of the reasons of why and what, but I know that God is good. Our society is so geared for quick fixes and instant answers that we are spoiled and often forget that no matter who or what you are waiting for , "good things come to those who wait."

OH YEAH!!!!!!!

I was getting ready to fix dinner when Nate called and said he wouldn't be coming home because he has to work late and then attend a meeting at church. So I put away the stuff for spaghetti and decided to go for a walk with Daisy. On the way up I got the mail and just opened up something that made my day even better than it was already.

You've noticed my new look by now, and it was donated to me by a complete stranger in the body of Christ who reads my blog and is a fellow adoptive mom. I was so humbled by her gracious display. You have no idea how comforting it is to have virtual strangers lift you up in prayer when you need it. Just knowing that so many of you have prayed for Dania (even if it was only once) means the world to me.

My second great news was in the mail. The testing results from Seton came back, and I am not a failure as a homeschool mom. Woohoo!

This is how it broke down: Austin's number is always listed first and I put Evan's after the /. The first numbers are the percentiles.

1. Vocabulary - 73/75
2. Comprehension - 51/61
3. Lang. Mechanics - 45/36
4. Lang. Expression - 55/81
5. Math Computation - 93/76
6. Concept and Appl. - 98/85
7. Reading Total - 61/68
8. Lang. Total - 50/63
9. Math Total - 97/82

The percentile is clear but I am not sure what the stanine column is, only the paper says that if you score a 1,2,3 that is below average, a 4, 5, and 6 is average and 7,8,and nine is above average.

1. Vocab - 6/6
2. Comp - 5/6
3. Lang. Mech. - 5/4
4. Lang. Exp. - 5/7
5. Math Comp. - 8/6
6. Concept & appl. - 9/7
7. Reading - 6/6
8. Lang. - 5/6
9. Math - 9/7

Austin's overall score was a 75 and Evan's was a 72. The things that they scored the lowest in are things that I barely covered with Austin last year, and just started to touch on with Evan. For instance, all kinds of punctuation and grammar. The tests had adverbs, simple subject and simple predicate, things that I had never taught them. Overall I am very pleased because they scored 6 sections average and 3 above average and I am confident that once we tackle these areas we will be doing really well. You have no idea how big a relief this is for me, even though these scores wouldn't make it into any record books. Mama is happy!

I'm back on track

After a particularly busy and stressful week we ended up having a really relaxing weekend. Not only did I receive the bad news on Dania, about an hour after that Daisy (the new dog I actually like) got raped by a shaggy dog the boys call Bean Breath. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, however 2 days before that she had been spaded. She was stuck to him for 1/2 hour and afterwards was in terrible pain. They were worried about internal bleeding and ripped sutures so I rushed her in. We didn't know whether she would make it until Friday morning. It was a long night for me. The vet was worried about contamination and infection so he kept her until Saturday. She is home now and seems to be doing great, they were really good to us and I'm sure they didn't charge as much as they could have. It was still not fun paying it, but I really like this dog so I don't feel so bad. She is on an antibiotic and has to remain in the house for the rest of the week.

I was doing this.......

...While men did this

And still more manliness

Bad and more bad news

I heard from the facilitator and things are a horrible mess in Haiti thanks in large part to UNICEF. Haiti has some of the worst human rights violations around, forced prostitution, slavery, child labor, you name it. Unicef went down there to put some pressure on them and complain about how many children have to get adopted out because Haiti won't take care of them. In response to Unicef Haiti has slowed adoptions down too a snails crawl to give the appearance of doing something about all the children in need. Unfortunately, they don't have anything set up to help these poor people or the children, so the innocent are suffering while bureaucrats try to set up aide. Maddening, maddening, maddening!!!! The president of Haiti released many files but the chief prosecutor is refusing to sign off on any of the dossiers that are stuck in parquet. There are some lawyers down there right now trying to resolve the stuff with Unicef and the chief prosecutor. I really don't understand what is happening with Unicef or what I just explained but that is the gist of it.

In other bad news, I have to now pay $500 for Dania's care. Not that I mind supporting her but you never know for sure what is happening to your money. Some O's charge $300 a month once you have chosen a child. This is supposed to be a one time fee of $500 for me. Some O's are in dire straits limiting meals to twice a day and receiving little medical attention. The orphanages are solely sponsored by adoptive parents or through the humanitarian aid groups that work for Haiti. I initially paid a $3,000 donation to the orphanage after I choose Dania to help with upkeep, school supplies, water, food , and medical care for the entire orphanage. Since adoptions are barely moving, the same kids are stuck there while new ones can not be accepted to get adopted out. So the O is not making any money. The facility is designed to house 100 children but right now there are 150 because it is so difficult to turn away a needy child to die on the streets. They said right now it is pointless to try and do anything, I should wait to see how the lawyers fare, and then will be directed to contact state officials and such to put pressure on Haiti and Unicef.

How am I doing? Believe it or not, I am taking this in stride. I've deeply sighed a couple of times this afternoon, and I feel heavy, but there has been no wailing or gnashing of teeth. I am starting to get realllly angry at these officials, not because of what they are doing to me and my little girl but for all those parents and children that are being turned away and receiving no assistance.

I leave you with this grim picture of the condition of Haiti. I borrowed this off a women who blogs and works to change things for Haiti's children.

The Haitian legal system is not available to protect the victims because only people with financial resources can afford justice. In Haiti, about 10 percent of the population holds 90 percent of the wealth. Consequently, the economically powerless, especially women and children, suffer unspeakable abuses and do not have access to the protection of law. Many of the tiniest victims of this abuse end up in one of the morgues located in the capital city of Port-au-Prince. The morgue I saw resembles a toy store with what looks like hundreds of toy dolls on storage shelves in a large dark room. However, they are not dolls but dead babies and children who are stacked on top of one another on shelves that reach all the way to the ceiling. Nobody seems to cry for these dead children, nobody asks how or why they died. Nobody comes to claim their bodies.Many of the dead babies were born to the girls and women who have been forced into prostitution for various reasons, and as a result many unwanted babies are born. Babies end up in garbage piles on the side of the road, inside of sewer drains or in the river drowned. Some of the babies are born out of liaisons between the prostitutes and U.N. peacekeeping troops.

Victory

The food diary has been on hiatus due to camera failure. I just got it together Saturday so I will commence with it soon.

Tonight while I was waiting to take Daisy for her appointment to get "fixed", Nate called and said that we were eating dinner out with a senior member of his board and his wife. I had an hour to get ready, get the kids ready, take the dog to the vet and be home in time for him to pick me up. To make a boring story short, all my hard work of late with the boys paid off big time tonight. The couple in there late seventies said that our children were "wonderful", "respectful", and a credit to our parenting. It was a 2 hour dinner and we were only interrupted 2 or 3 times by the children, only once for being a little rowdy, and 2 or 3 times they wanted or needed something. Besides the one instance of rowdiness, if they needed something they asked the waitress politely or put their hand on my arm. It was delightful and I was proud of them even though they weren't to where I would eventually like to see them. I am trying so hard to be consistent and stay close by so that things do not get out of hand. I have the tendency to leave my children alone if there are no screaming fights happening, that does not make for good training so I have died to myself by not just leaving them to their own devices but actively listening and participating in their activities. When you are in this high intensity training periods it is imperative to not be in a closet or garage somewhere for hours at a time cleaning or hiding, but to be engaged all the time. So exhausting! yet somehow rewarding at the same time.

In adoption news, I heard from my facilitator that someone who recently went to Haiti to inquire on the status of adoptions was looking into my file along with some others who have been stuck in the same process as me. She should be contacting my facilitator in the next couple of days. If she didn't learn anything about my file I will try and take some other steps to see what is happening. That will be incredibly hard to do so I am hoping for some good news.

Autism

My high school friend Ginger has a son that developed Autism after he was vaccinated at an approximate age of 18 months. She has since been a champion, advocating research into the link between autism and vaccines. This week a ruling came down in favor of a little girl named Hannah, who was developing normally until she received 9 vaccines in one day at her well baby check up. Here is the news story about it. CBS Scroll down until you see the autism video, it is not the story that pops up initially. If you are a parent of infants I wanted to at least make you aware of what has transpired recently in this debate. It is so important to be informed. Here is a link to Gingers blog that she has dedicated to Autism research. The whole story of Hannah and other news related information is also there. http://adventuresinautism.blogspot.com/

Are you so blessed?

I hope that you are as blessed as I am in the friendships that you have with other women. I am part of a body of women that just don't let me get away with anything, and I do mean anything. I see this kind of interference as so welcoming and necessary in order to successfully mature as a believer. A few days ago I got a call from one of my friends who happened to believe that I may have spoken carelessly in a conversation that 3 of us were in. When I say carelessly I should clarify that it was not gossip in any way but more of letting the 3rd women off the hook with issues that needed to be addressed with her. The caller was most gracious and humble and I could really tell that she didn't want to be right about her suspicions, she just asked me to consider it and pray about it. Well I didn't need to pray about it, I could tell that her point was valid, but I said I would pray and so I did. Of course her concern had merit, so I did what I had to do which was validate her insight and thank her for her love. There was no damage done to the 3rd party, they would never have even noticed my excusing them or my frivolity.

One of the things that God has blessed me with is pretty thick skin. A gentle rebuke is about one of the best things that could happen to a person, especially a person who was just patting herself on the back for getting a second wind with homeschooling this year. More than the thought of my "mistake" was the thought of how truly and utterly blessed it is to be with people that care about the little things in my life. I could never live with vanity, greed, selfishness or a host of other things because my good friends would see and react. Does everyone always speak to me in love? A big NO would answer that, but honestly I don't really care. They may say something to me in anger and I might want to respond back in anger, however the scripture is true when it says " a gentle answer turneth away wrath." Really good friends are super hard to find, because it is really hard to be a good friend. Are you so blessed to have and be a good friend?

A Full Weekend

I couldn't load the pictures from my camera to the computer because the camera batteries are dead. So you will just have to use your imagination. Friday night we had Jon and Maura over for a spontaneous dinner. Maura was walking out the door and Nate asked her to go get her husband and come back for Stouffer's lasagna. I almost had a freaker because I didn't have the fixings for a nice salad, only lettuce and carrots, I had only one box of Texas toast and it wasn't homemade lasagna that I was serving my guests. Nate however has no pride when it comes to stuff like that and I am so glad he doesn't because we had a blast. The kids ate in the sun room and the adults at the dining room table. We laughed and turned red and I didn't even care about the food, which there was just enough of and tasted fine. (not great, but fine) I even had a frozen apple pie and vanilla ice cream so we ended up with a decent dessert. It is so much better to just have someone over spontaneously then to plan and sweat over a meal. If I would have invited them over earlier, I would have run to the store, spent lots more money, and made a home made dish instead, but I would have missed out on a relaxing evening with friends.

Saturday was clean up the old paintball fields at the in laws house day. Nate's old paintball fields have been rotting in my in laws lower pasture for years now, and they have patiently waited for us to have the time to clean them up. It was beautiful here on Saturday so we headed out to begin the cleanup. I say begin because it will probably take another day or so of burning, moving and smoothing with the Dae Wo to get it back into shape. Anyway we had pizza for dinner that night.

Sunday dinner was chips and dip. Yes, I said dip and chips. I make a bean dip and we eat it with tortilla chips on a monthly basis at least. Sunday nights are usually low key as far as the menu goes and everyone loves the dip. The ingredients are:

2 packages of cream cheese
2 cans of refried beans
1 jar of salsa (the big jars I can't remember the ounces but it is double the small jars)
1 -2 cups of grated cheeses (I mix a couple of kinds or buy the packages Mexican mix)
1 can of black olives to slice

Heat oven to 350
soften cream cheese in a 9 x 13 casserole dish
spread cream cheese on the bottom of dish
In another bowl combine salsa and refried beans, mix together well and spread over cream cheese. Then sprinkle shredded cheese over the entire top, add sliced olives and bake for 30 mins.

I can't remember if I posted this picture of Dania or not, but they sent it to me last week so I think it is a new one.

One More Time

A very good friend sent this over to me (I am protecting her from potential onslaught) and I found it to be incredibly enlightening. As much as I don't like labels and categories I thought it would be interesting to see which lane you fit in. That will make sense to you as soon as you watch the clip. Don't over analyze this, just from the parameters that this guy gives, which lane is most reflective of how you see yourself? It is not long at all, 5 mins or so. If you read this blog I am curious to know where you would put yourself, so don't be a chicken. http://www.marshillchurch.org/ This is not Rob Bell's church.