Update

I have been absent from blog world because so many things were swirling around in my mind and I couldn't seem to focus and write anything meaningful at all. I am beyond burned out with school and have decided to take a summer break even though I didn't finish the math books that I had hoped too. I had moved each of them back a year in math in hopes to fill in some gaps and get their confidence level up, I had hoped to be done with those books in the summer and then starting the next level in August, but I just can't keep going at this pace any longer. The truth is that it is only my pride that I have to swallow and I am willing to do.that in order to have a break. I think my kids and I need to have a breather from each other as teacher/student. It is hard to homeschool and not compare yourself and your kids to others. I don't want to "look" bad or give the impression that they are not bright. All of that kind of thinking is wrong and I know it, but oh it is so easy to do. I can't just look at the here and now, I have to be able to see the big picture, and if my kids are lacking something at this stage in the venture it doesn't mean I am failing, it is just a loop that I have to close sometime in the future. Hopefully when all is said and done they will have what they need. It will only take me a few weeks to move them up when I start up again, so I feel mostly relieved and just a small bit of guilt. The guilt comes from not doing the best that I could. People say that to me all the time, "oh you are doing the best that you can." Well, actually no I am not. When it comes to their schooling, I don't always do the best that I can. When it comes to self discipline, a big nope is there as well. Sometimes at the end of a day I can lay in bed and sleep peacefully because I know that for that day I did the best I could, but honestly those days are few and far between. I'm not the best time manager and like I've said previously, self motivation is hard to come by for me. I need the nasty drill Sergeant sitting on my shoulder yelling at me. The nice ones that say "you can do it, come on" just don't cut it for me. The trick for me is to feel guilty enough to make a change, but not condemned, otherwise depression that is always lurking close by will take a hold. It is a fine line that I walk, and I hope to one day have it figured out a little better. I pray for discipline and motivation when I feel motivated or have the discipline to do so, but it is difficult to stay on top of those kinds of things. So for right now I am going to try and enjoy the break from school, make a plan for when we start up again, and pray that I want to do the best I can.

Next week all the boys will be at summer day camp for 3 whole days. I am beside myself with gladness. I have never had the chance to be home when the kids are gone. If I am away from my kids it is usually because we are going out somewhere. I don't have plans made yet about what I will be doing with my time, but I know that one day will be spent out shopping because I am starting to get Dania's room ready.

Entertainment overload

No we did not go to Disney World but first thing this morning we hurried out the door to see the free movies at the local cinema. Nate, who returned Tuesday evening decided to take the day off and accompany us, that was a treat. We saw the newest Veggie Tales Pirates movie, and while it was slightly entertaining I was so disheartened to see that the new owners of Veggie Tales has taken out everything even slightly spiritual. We next headed to Chuck E. Cheeses to have the party we originally missed. I have to say that I absolutely love that place. One token games are awesome and I can't help get excited when I hit a bonus and get a bunch of tickets. Nate and I take an equal share of the tokens and hit the machines. I love Skee Ball so Nate and I duked it out. I also like those chancey/risk games where you can get gobs of tickets if you are lucky. I am not a gambler but I had better steer clear of Vegas. We ended the day with some shopping for CTS (Nate's company) and picked up some goggles for swim team at TJ Maxx ( my second favorite store) for well over half price, the only drawback was they were purple, but that happens to be Evans favorite color. He got the dark purple and Luke got a shade lighter.

Luey

Little Luey turned 7 on Saturday. Here he is with the cannon he got for his b-day. Yes, it is a real cannon that you load with black powder, good thing his father has access to this kind of thing. He had wanted to go to Chuck E Cheese for his birthday, but Nate had a crisis at work and ended up working the entire weekend so his party had to be moved to the shop instead of Chuck E Cheese. I snagged a cake from Ingles and we headed over to the shop to spend the afternoon. Believe it or not he took his disappointment in stride. Not a tear was shed or an angry word spoken. He was so excited about his birthday, he told everyone we encountered and skipped around most of the day. I felt kinda sorry for him, but he was so good about it. We ended up being invited to Nanny and Papa's for dinner and Uncle Bubba and his friend Danny played in the pool with the boys, which they loved. He had a nice day in the end.

Ribbons in our eyes

The boys had their first swim meet last night, and boy was it ever a surprise. You swim in the age group that depends on what age you are as of June 1st, so Austin who doesn't turn 11 til July was in the 10 and under group along with Evan who is 9. Austin definitley had the advantage this year being on the older side but next year he will be on the young side for his age group. The 2 big boys swam 25 yards free, back and free relay, and they were in the same heat and on the same relay team. This was a very, very small meet comparitively but Austin took the blue ribbon for free and back, while Evan took 6th and 4th. Their relay team took 3rd. It took them both by surprise since they were so rusty from not having swam all year. The relay race was beyond exciting because the first guy to swim for their team was a very young, small sized boy who was super slow. He would stop every once in a while to catch his breath, but Evan and the other teammate would clap and keep encouraging him on. By the time he got to the wall and it was Evan turn to go they were in dead last with everyone else at least a quarter the length of the pool ahead. Evan swam strong and overtook a swimmer, next Austin was able to overtake another position, and the last boy overtook 2 swimmers and was battling for 2nd. I was on my feet screaming and jumping because it was an awesome comeback. They ended up in 3rd and boy were they surprised. I was incredibly proud of them, as you can tell, so this ends my bragging corner.

In other news I have travel fever. I spend my free time daydreaming about vacations I want to take and places I want to go with the boys. This always happens at this time of the year. I get sick of school, the weather is nice (sorta) and travel mags are arriving in the mail. Anyone doing anything fabulously fun that I can live vicariously through.

Swimming

I have no idea where this week has gone already. I am sooooo glad to be done with the update to my homestudy. Whew! I have decided to enroll the boys in swim team again this year, the unfortunate part is that they decided to not have a division from my town this year so I have to drive them 15 miles away instead of the 2 that it was last year. They still get to me on the same team as last year though. Luke is still in the beginners class and the big boys have moved up. I do like the fact that they will be swimming in an indoor pool and can do it all year round. I don't like the time of practice, it is 4pm for Luke and 4:30 for the big boys. This will make getting dinner a little more difficult, also he said the big boys will probably move up a class very quickly and the next class is a 5pm. Hopefully Luke will move up to the 4:30 class soon, but he is nowhere near their capacity yet. He told the coach that he was a super fast swimmer and dove right in to show him w/o even lowering his goggles. He couldn't even make it the length of the pool but he was incredibly proud of his dive/belly flop and speed. The coach said he will have no problem. I love that kids determination, he does not get that from me. I only signed them up for the 2 day a week class because of gas and the time, if they love it and we want to do it more they have a 4 day a week class. The first meet is Thursday, all but Luke can compete.

A wedding and old friends

I spent a lovely weekend in Raleigh NC attending the wedding of my maid of honor, Jacque. I have known her since we were 15 yrs old. We had a fabulous youth group and made life long friends with some of the people. Attending the wedding were some friends that I had not seen for 10-20 years, even writing that makes me feel old. Greg, Holly, Ginger, Scott, Jacque, and I all grew up together. Ginger's husband Scott and I went to elementary and high school together as well as the same church that we all met in. It was beyond fun for me to catch up with all my old buddies and realize that even after 10 or 20 years we could pick up where we left off. I don't think there was one small down time in the conversation. Everyone of us still has a relationship with God that has grown and changed over the years, and we have all found a measure of peace and fulfillment in our lives even though our roads have been so diverse. I was so happy to be able to reconnect with the people who have known me the longest, seen me at my most awkward, and loved me in spite of it. Cheers and blessings to each of you!

The wedding was simply divine. For a stay at home mom like me, I felt like I was treated to a ball. You know that I can not talk about something without mentioning the food, but I think that it would be more appropriate to talk about the bride and groom first. The ceremony was very touching, they read vows to each other that they had written, and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Unfortunately many forgot hankies, so their was lots of sniffling. Jacque looked gorgeous in a light pink gown, her bridemaids wore a chocolate brown and carried pink flowers, very nice. Jac's husband has an adorable son the same age as Jac's daughter. They were beyond cute when they gave a toast to the happy couple. I had never met Danny before so I really didn't know him at all, but what impressed me the most was his relationship with his son. It is obvious that they adore each other and have a blast together, and that pretty much sums it up in my opinion. If your teenage son likes you, you must be doing something right.

Okay, now to the food. As soon as the ceremony was over we went into a room for refreshments while the pictures were taken. I thought this was a classy touch, in light of standing around and waiting. There was a bar, fruit, cheese and cracker table and a beautiful table with a giant ice sculpture that had jumbo shrimp, crab claws and raw oysters. (I was in heaven, minus the oysters) Next, we were ushered into a ball room in the old historic inn that was stunningly decorated. I don't remember all the details, but the flower arrangements on each table were gorgeous and there were more glasses and silverware at each table than I knew what to do with. There was a water glass with lime, red wine glass, white wine glass, and a champagne glass. The silverware was more daunting, but luckily we remembered the rule to start on the outside and work your way in. I won't bore you with further details so here was the 5 course menu. It was a 5 star kind of meal with all the fancy trimmings. I hadn't had anything so nice in over a decade.

1. crab cake
2. artichoke soup
3. spinach and arugela salad
4. chicken or steak
5. wedding cake with chocolate truffles on each plate

And if that wasn't enough, back in the bar room across the hall from the reception where we first waited, was a giant chocolate fondue fountain with all sorts of yummy things like strawberries, pineapple, marshmellows, rice crispies, and cookies.

After all this, there was dancing. The men were hilarious to watch and Nate and I had a slow dance and one dance Kevin James style from the movie Hitch.

The happy couple departed at 5pm after 5 hours of fun and we hit the road home to find a place to spend the night.

p.s I took no pictures because my friends had better cameras and took a gazillion pics, so hopefully they won't forget to send them.

No time to breathe or blog

We came back from vacation and I hit the ground running. Monday was drive around and get all the last necessary documents picked up for the update to my homestudy that was taking place Tuesday and try to unpack and clean sand out of every crevice imaginable. Tuesday was taking the cat to the vet and cleaning the house, and the homestudy. All went well with that, since this is my THIRD update. The only dark spot is that my child protective services clearance may show that anonymous complaint that someone turned in on us last year to DFACS. They say it is not a big deal, that if it shows up they will just include it in the homestudy and explain what happened, but it is a big deal to me and I was further peeved about the mysterious busybody who reported us.

I heard from my facilitator that my file is not lost, but still awaiting the president of Haiti to sign off on it since we have more than 2 bio kids. Apparently if you have 2 or less children your paperwork can slide through, but if you have more than that the prez himself has to sign it. The director at my O said that she was pushing very hard to get my file moving. That helps some.

Nate and I are off this morning to Raleigh, for my good friend Jacque's (JacDan in my sidebar) wedding. We are making this our annual getaway as well. Several of my old friends from High School will be there and I am looking forward to seeing every one, but nothing compares to my excitement of seeing Jac finally tie the knot.

Beach vacation

We have been at the beach this past week near Port St Joe Fl. We camped at this lovely state park on an isolated peninsula. The beaches were fantastic and probably the most beautiful ones I've ever visited, but camping on the beach is definitely not my favorite way to see the beach. We pretty much stayed covered in sweat and sand. It will go down as one of our most memorable vacations, we had all sorts of mishaps that really test your sanity. lol It started with us going down a day earlier than planned and arriving in the late evening, trying to get our camper into the tiniest spot in the campground while slapping teeny biting bugs. We smashed up the camper bumper getting it into a decent spot, Austin cut his heel sorta deep and had to wear a duck tape homemade contraption. The fat on my thighs rubbed together and created a lovely burn on my inner thigh, that stung, and somehow I got ill in the middle of the night and spent a lovely couple of hours walking to and from the bath house. I have pictures but they do not compare to the wonderful pictures Aunt Tammy took, she loaded them onto Nate's laptop so I have copies, but I will have to transfer them to my computer first. I will be posting those later, but in the meantime you can see how beautiful this place was with the pics we took.

We try to keep "Uncle Landon" and "Uncle Doug" contained, but there is no stopping the madness.
Tammy setting up for the group shot.
Nate tries to make it in before the timer goes off.
The finished product.

Sunset on the beach

Eating out

This place likely caused the illness.

Playing in the water

Austin captures a crab

See how desserted the beaches are, this is just our gang.

Fun on the beach

Evan and Luke find one.
Solomon just enjoys himself and his feet.
Noah and Nate scour the sea floor for crabs
Luke spies a crab

These were the lovely isolated beaches

The bayside

These were at the house that Nanny, Papa, Aunt Tammy, Aunt Sandi and Uncle Doug stayed at.