Growing up

I just received these photos this morning, along with an update on my files. Apparently MOI requires two more pieces of paperwork signed, which the director of the O did, and is awaiting their return. She has gotten some back for other families, so hopefully this will not take too long. Then we are on our way to Visa's and passports.

This is not the little girl that we saw over 3 years ago, she has certainly grown up a lot over this time. When your child is not with you, you tend to think of them as you last saw them. In my case, I think of her as some of those early photos that we received. Every time I get a recent photo I am shocked over how grown up she looks, because I always think of her young. It is so sad to think of her as a little girl w/o a mommy to raise her.

Day at the range

Below is some video of our monthly day at the range. Nate and I have been shooting together in our local competition since last September.

The passing of a friend

Saturday May 9th, while walking with my friend MW, we got the call saying that a woman in our church had passed away in her sleep. This wasn't just a woman to me, I had known her for 10 years and had a complicated relationship with her, she was Nathan's bookkeeper for years, and she was a mother of 3 children under the age of 10, but she was also a friend whom I loved.



Tonight was the viewing, and Friday night is the memorial service. Nathan and I have been asked to speak. This makes me nervous, because I can't even make an announcement in church without crying. I'm going to write my thoughts of her here so that it is memorialized, and serve as a reminder of what God did in my life through her.



I remember that I heard about her before I'd actually met her. I was the church secretary, and the Pastor just told me that a couple had just moved up from Fla and wanted him to marry them. He asked only that they commit 3 months to our church, that was over ten years ago.

My first good memory of her was when I waddled into her delivery room to see her first baby. She had delivered a week before me and won our bet on who would go first. I was 10 ten days late. It was the running joke at the time about how unattractive I thought newborns were, so when I walked in her room, first thing I asked was "how did everything go?" and she gushed about everything. She said N was so beautiful as she was handing her to me, and said "you better not call my baby ugly." I said "I've got that all covered", "I tell everybody their baby is sweet, precious, small" She howled in laughter, with this great belly laugh that she was famous for.

I took her under my wing, and befriended her, and reached out to her a lot for the next couple of years, and things were good. She had the habit of hiding out in her house, and I would call to get her to go out once in a while She showed up at the coffee house one night, sopping wet and in grubby clothes. She said her husband had come into the bathroom and told her to get dressed and meet her friends for coffee. She always seemed to have fun once she showed up, it was just getting her there that was sometimes hard.

Somewhere along the way we got busy and lost touch. We only spoke in the halls of church and at different events here and there. Our relationship just cooled. It came to a head a couple of years ago, when I said something again. When we were making up she said that it drove her insane that I never got offended and that I made friends so easily. She struggled with both those areas. I apologized for not getting offended when she was mad at me, and I apologized for being her friend, and we both laughed. You see, I always liked her a lot, I just wasn't always sure she felt the same way about me.

Recently, she came back to work for Nathan and we picked up again where we had left off. We talked about everything and she caught me up on all the L family news. I asked her one day how her husband was treating her, and she said "perfect." I said "perfect," and she said "yeah, everything." I said "not many women can say that they are married to a perfect man." she said that she could claim it, so I stuck my tongue out at her and called her a showoff.

The last interaction I had with her was a divine appointment. She taught me about God's compassion and that was something that I had never really grasped. I mentioned it when I talked about our ladies retreat, but I didn't mention that it was her. After our exchange we had a long talk about stuff that she was dealing with. I gave her a homework assignment and told her I would get back with her for the answer. I missed my opportunity, because of the distraction of the court case, and that is always something I'll regret, but God did an amazing work in both of our lives.

I was arrogant all those years ago when I thought that she needed me, and I was the one giving her something, she gave me something from God that no one had ever been able to give me before. I am humbled by the treasure that was inside of her, waiting to be let out. God in his mercy let me have one more time with her, because he knew that we both needed it. We had a long history together, we each played a role in each others story.

In the airport

I'm sitting in the airport in CO waiting to board my flight to come home. We left on Mothers Day to be here in time for our appts. Monday. We had our court hearing on Tuesday and it went really well. Our attorney was great, our Judge seemed interested in our case, and Nate did fabulous on the stand, for his testimony and cross exam. Neither one of us had ever testified in court before, so we were a little uncertain of what to expect. Nathan said that he actually enjoyed the cross examination and was sorry that it ended so quickly. The defense was not as well prepared, and they did not present as well to the court, I am certain. The unfortunate thing, was that due to the volume of information, and time factor, the judge did not make a ruling. She is giving herself about a month to review the testimonies, depositions, and evidence to make a decision. This will actually help our side of the case since the judge will read the depositions of the board members; so our attorney was satisfied with this. So for now the saga continues, although for us it feels really good to be done with this big unknown.

As for the trip, this was probably the first time in 20 years that I've have traveled w/o anxiety. I was nervous about flying, but did not feel sick. I was very nervous before our hearing, but I did not panic or get sick. This is a huge victory for me, and I know that it was the prayers of many that got me through.

Boarding!!!

The inside story

I am finally able to share with you what happened to my husband's job. I am only going to share the main points, because I don't want to be slanderous. At the first of the year my husband's business partner did a hostile take over of the company. He fired someone that was key to the operation here, he fired the Board of Directors, elected himself sole director, changes the bylaws and articles of incorporation, and eventually fired Nathan at the end of January. My husbands company does defense work for the military. Nathan brought the products and intellectual property to the table when they decided to create a company. His partner brought contract proposal skills to the table, but since he was a disabled vet, Nate gave him 51% of the company so that they would gain favorable status with the govt, and elicit more contracts. They were to have equal control over the company and Nate was compensated extra for providing all the devices that were being sold. When there relationship began to sour, the board directed that someone outside come in and run the company, Nate was in total agreement to this recommendation, his partner was not. His partner found a loophole through our poorly constructed bylaws and took over.

We are headed to CO on Sunday in preparation for our hearing on Tues. We are asking the judge to appoint a receiver,(someone to run the company) or reinstate the board. We would also like the court to dissolve the company, that means sell off everything and go our separate ways, but that will not be decided until a trial. Before Nate was fired, we were negotiating selling our half of the business, but at the last minute he pulled his offer and then low balled us, so the court has to decide what to do with the company.

Please pray for God's justice to be done, we are at peace with however this turns out. Pray for my nerves, which have so far been good, but traveling makes me anxious.

Retreat

I skipped the Homeschool conference and seeing Tonya to go to our ladies retreat, and it was exactly where I needed to be. It was close to home so I didn't sleep there with everybody and I missed Friday's meeting, but Saturday I was there a good 14 hours, and got what I needed.

II Corinthians 3:18 "But we all with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the spirit of the Lord."

Our speaker spoke on living through and being transformed by the difficult circumstances that we go through, by seeking out his promises so that we may become partakers of his divine nature and taken to the crown with glory.

God has been sifting us so much this year through hardship and trials, yet his promises are true and there is so much hope in the face of the unknown. I felt the compassion of the Lord for me this weekend, and that was something new for me. I often feel his love, but often feel that he gets sick of the same ole thing that I go to him about. It was humbling to be reminded of his unfailing compassion for his people.

My blessing's this weekend:
I have the best of friends and support.
Someone paid for me to go to the retreat.
I didn't have to bring food or help prepare or clean anything, my homegroup covered that for me.
I was touched by God and my spirit renewed.
I became on of the Titus 2 women and spoke into younger women's lives.
People encouraged me and spoke nicely of me, and even overlooked all my foot in mouth moments.
I felt no pressure to be anything for anyone.
I came home to a clean house.
I came home and today someone brought over a bunch of groceries for us. It was a weeks supply of meat, fruit, bread, ice cream, cheeses, snacks and staples. It was all the more humbling because it came from someone who has less than us. The best thing about this blessing was that we weren't in need of food. We have money, we could get what we needed, but it was so wonderful to be reminded that God doesn't just give us what we need to survive, he gives far more abundantly than what we could ever ask or hope for.

Curse or coincidence or trials?

We have had some really bad luck around here lately, (as if I believe in luck) things have been going to pot pretty fast and it was hard to catch our breath. It has become so funny to us as of late that we are cautioning ourselves over the littlest of things. I caught myself thinking that Nate should be careful as he headed to the mailbox barefooted. lol Three weeks ago our van transmission bit the dust. It only had about 68,000 miles on it, I guess it was a lemon transmission. Right before it died, I confessed to Nathan that I find myself being very careful while driving and trying to baby the vehicles. With no income I wanted to make sure we didn't have any unexpected expenses. 2 weeks ago while doing homeschool, Austin decides to crank open one of the 2x6 windows in the sunroom, (we do this all the time) The entire window, frame and all fell out onto the deck and shattered. It sounded like a bomb going off. Luckily it was a window that needed to be replaced anyway, due to water damage, and thankfully we had some Home Depot gift cards. 20 minutes after that happened, Luke was opening the upper home school cabinet, and the door fell off the hinges and hit him in the head. Last week while driving Nate's truck, I backed into a small sports car in the CVS parking lot. I was just celebrating my $35 purchase that I got for $3.16 when catastrophe struck. I haven't had an accident involving another car since I was 16. I hit the side of the house while backing up once, but that hardly counts. My trip to CVS ended up costing me over $500. sigh!!! Then this past weekend while Nate and I were riding motorcycles with friends, he dropped the bike over on the pavement with both of us on it. We were at a standstill and not hurt, only his pride. He is a strong, big guy, and nothing like this has ever happened. The bike was pretty much mint condition and now there are a few scratches on it. He was just talking about selling it and getting top dollar, since it was so well maintained. sigh, again!!!!

So now you know why a trip to the mailbox barefooted could warrant worry. The other shoe has already dropped and now I think shoes are being flung at us from all directions.

Did I mention what our family verse is for the past week or so? " Consider it all joy my brethren when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience, and let patience have it's perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

sigh!!