Words are inadequate

It seems that I could never convey the depths of my sorrow in a forum such as this, but my mind has been consumed with some friends of ours grief. On saturday while we were with them they got word that their little nephew, not yet 2 had shot himself with a 22 pistol. We know the father of the toddler, but are pretty close with the fathers brother and sister. The father has been arrested and spent the first few days of his sons death in jail. This was a terrible accident and not some willful neglect. The father is overcome with despair, and I'm pretty sure that he does not know the Lord. I know that God can use this for good, but goodness the pain is staggering for this family.

I will survive

My biopsy came back good, and they only want to check me again in 6 months just to see how things look. For now, they will leave said lump in place, because it looks like a normal cyst. While I am happy to have this behind me, I was almost certain that my time had come to face something serious. This has been a year of trial, and it almost seemed fitting that something else go wrong. See what a lovely sense of optimism can do for you.

I'm feeling particularly chipper because Tuesday I spent the day looking for a lost 2007 homestudy that immigration needed. They should have had it, I should have had it, my agency should have had it, the social worker should have had it, but mysteriously none did. Thankfully at the end of the day immigration settled for my original homestudy that was done in 2006. Then Wednesday, I spent the day tracking a letter that contained my checks for new fingerprints. The tracking stated that it was delivered 12 days ago, but immigration couldn't find it and therefore had not submitted me into the data base for a new appt. They did get this taken care of by end of business yesterday, but I lost 12 days in the process. I will not be able to travel to Haiti on my old prints that expire on the 2nd of Dec, because I won't have clearance yet from the National Visa Center. Christmas is still a slim possibility, but I'm not holding my breath, and I've given that one to the Lord as well. When I mentioned that they lost my check last night in homegroup, someone said that this is getting downright demonic, and I have to concur. I'm usually not a demon around every door kinda gal, but there has been a fight going on to bring this one little girl home. So many things have gone wrong and yet they must be right also. When that was said last night about this getting downright dirty, I thought about the fact that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, and no person is trying to mess this up for us, it is a spiritual battle and I thank God that I am on the winning side. I also realized that I have a fighting spirit as well, and I thought "bring it", "I've got what it takes to see this through." After a;;, I know the eventual outcome, this child is mine, which means that she is under my protection and covering. I say this not full of arrogance, but with full confidence that God is with me, and he certainly has what it takes, and if I abide in him, then I have what it takes as well. He's got my back, and I can't imagine anyone more qualified to cover me in this battle.