I started this the day I uploaded all those other posts, but was pulled away.
We are still doing school with the big kids, I have taken over the Athletic Director position for our homeschool athletic program.(this was very reluctantly) We had some people on the board quit or move. I was worried that there would not be a program at all, so here we are. We started our summer canning, put in the garden (the plants are pathetic this year, especially the tomatoes) Dania's bday came and went so fast and now Luke's is on Friday. Nathan also had knee surgery in March and Evan broke his arm. The first break in the Brock kids.(I may have already mentioned this, but my mind is slipping) We have had 2 real estate deals going at the same time, and all sorts of churchy things too.
I feel like I am running at breakneck speeds and lots of it can feel meaningless at times. Sometimes you just know that you are doing right and on the same path that God has laid out for you, yet there are those times that you wonder if you jumped into things too fast w/o thinking and now have created your own path. Out of sync could be a good way to put it.
A month back while Nate and I were on our yearly trip to Telico Plains TN he had listed one of our dirt bikes. He was corresponding back and forth with this guy. He does this so much that we have both learned that there are a whole bunch of schemers out there that will literally sell you the moon. This kid was telling Nate that his little sister had just died and he was looking for a way to take his mind off of things. I was slightly annoyed, here we were away from work for one night and they were texting back and forth. I was pretty sure he was just trying to get a pity party so that Nate would come down on his price. We agreed to meet him at our house the following day when we returned home. I thought nothing more of it, until I was out with the chickens at 7pm and saw this truck drive up. I saw a guy talking to Nate and a young woman, girl really, just standing around. I paid no attention to them, I was getting ready to head up the back steps when I lingered a moment to say something to Nate. Somehow I got to listening, and then meandered over to say something to the girl. She was puffing on a cigarette, I was not impressed. I exchanged a few pleasantries with her and went back to the chickens. By this time they had been there for 30 mins and when I came back up I noticed she was getting a little baby out of the backseat of their truck. I felt sorry for this teenage mom and her boyfriend. She politely asked me for water for her baby bottle and so she came in. I found out she was not married, the guy was her step brother, the baby daddy was in jail, her mom was a drug addict until she was 15, she was now 19. I had been giving her motherly advice. When I told her it looked like her baby was teething so latched on to me with ?'s as she had been worried the baby was sick. I told her what to look for, what to do, what to worry about in an infant and what not to sweat. She asked about Dania, the big boys, school, etc. I felt nice being able to give her parenting advice and helping a young girl out. She was sweeter than I had originally thought. I even told her to throw away the stupid cigarettes with my most serious face, and not to make any more excuses about quitting later. We were having a moment. Shyly she told me " I don't know what you think about God, but I feel like he gave me my baby to save me." And there, suddenly, in my driveway, was God, right smack dab in the middle of everything. You know he is always with you, you were taught that when your feet couldn't touch the floor. But when you are running at breakneck speeds, suddenly the world stops, and time stands still, you just KNOW he is there. Nothing else mattered, a door was opened and I was stepping through to the kingdom of heaven on earth. Words of life flowed out of me, admonishments, truths, hope for eternity, all of it.
It was time to go, they had been there a couple of hours outside in our driveway. They were driving home to Al, they had come far, too far. I asked her why she had come with him, with a baby. "I don't know, something to do, things have been sad since his sister died."
Nate asked me walking back inside. "It looked like you were having a moment?"
I've thought about it a lot since then. I have prayed for her a few times. She has a tough road ahead. It wasn't my job to fix her, save her, even become her pen pal. I just had to be faithful in the moment. Once again all was right in the world. I was ok, even if I didn't see the divine moment coming, even if I wasn't looking for it, even if I was running too fast, he would stop me when I needed to stop. He would wake me up when it was time. My whirlwind of craziness is never going to thwart his plans and purposes. He is the calm, he is the rock, and he is what brings true life and meaning to all the mess.
