Fad Diet

I am on a fad diet that my friend AF did called the Mayo Clinic Diet. You have to eat the foods they tell you to for 2 weeks and you will lose 20 pounds. I only want to lose 15, but if I am so fortunate to lose all 20 I will not complain. I think she told me that she lost 16 pounds and have kept it off for 2 months. I also have an ulterior motive for dieting, for at least 6 yrs I have had a candida overgrowth which I think is largely responsible for my overall feeling of puny health. I pretty much kept a y infection when I was pregnant with Luey, and have some sort of flair up nearly every month. The interesting thing is that I have always felt called to have a more fasted lifestyle. I am convinced that the key to spiritual breakthrough is in fasting, but I have such an idol with food that I haven't been incredibly successful with my attempts to live a fasted lifestyle on a regular basis. I have been incredibly angry and irritable these last 2 days and I love it. I honestly like seeing how controlled I am by my circumstances and surroundings. I am still eating like a king compared to most of the world but my spoiled flesh is crying out for more. I am eating mostly eggs, a lot of eggs, lettuce, cucumber, tomatos, olives, black coffee or tea, chicken, pork chops, and steak. I had steak for dinner tonight so I felt happier, except I had to bypass the bread, broccoli with cheese sauce, and mashed potatos. I get to eat 3 times a day but I get no snacks and I am having no sugar and no carbs. I don't like denying myself the little treats throughout the day, and I certainly resent not having cream and sugar in my hot tea. However the Lord is always so gracious with me that I can honestly say that a part of me loves doing this becasue I know what my "character issues" are and I am able to see myself in a very clear light. I am not saying this arrogantly like I have it all figured out, I am merely stating how much of my flesh rises to the surface during times of fasting. I don't even consider this a spiritual fast just a diet, but it is turning into something more already after only 2 days. For some people food doesn't make them happy, and for others it is no biggy to deny themselves for months at a time. That is just not the case with me. I am really hoping that some chains will fall off of me during this 2 week diet so that I can continue in a denied state for the next 2 months in order to rid my body of candida and not be a slave to food. When I consider how difficult this is for me I am ashamed of myself for being such a wimp, but I know that there is a reason for everything and God is faithful and good to complete the work that he started. Anytime that something ugly in you is brought into the light I think that we ought to truly rejoice instead of feeling condemned. I mean God already knows how gross we are and he still loves us w/o measure so why can't a little light on the darkness of our lives be a happy time of house cleaning.