Several Tries

I have written this post over and over again only to save it in draft form but never publish. This is a very condensed version of the others but it reveals all that I feel comfortable writing about. .

I'm finally able to report that I and my children are still alive. We have been having some incredibly difficult days around here lately, and have come to the conclusion that I need to seek outside help with one of the kids. It has been a hard decision to come by, but I want to be able to look in the mirror and know that I have done everything I possibly can for each of my children. This of course includes fasting and praying, although I have not been able to fast lately some dear friends have filled in that gap for me.

Nothing terrible is happening, but I want to intervene before patterns and habits get to far established and the road back becomes too long. We have had some good family fun along with the frustrating school days, so I am not in the depths of despair. ("To despair is to turn your back on God") a quote from one of my favorite stories, Ann of Green Gables.

Austin will be starting basketball soon. This is the first sports activity that we have participated in, in a long time, excluding swimming last summer. I think it has been 4 years since anyone played a team sport. It is practically impossible to allow all 3 of the boys to play the same sport, so we are letting them have their number one choice. This year Austin wants to try BB, Evan wants to play football, which doesn't start till the end of summer, and Luke is not sure if he wants to do baseball or soccer. Either way they are all in different seasons so there won't be so much running around and the whole family can go to the each other's games and cheer them on. If they had all played BB, they would have been on 3 different teams with practices back to back or scattered on different days with games on different nights. We could have literally been at the gym 5 days a week for several hours at a time. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

Amanda is practicing her baking skills on the family, much to every one's delight, especially Nate. I enjoy cooking but I am the reluctant baker. Sweets just don't entice me that much unless someone else is making them. I have been able to lose 3 pounds in the last two weeks, but Amanda has been on a roll with the cookies lately. She made the best peanut butter cookies last week, and then this week topped it with wonderful Snickerdoodles, plus the good ole standby of chocolate chip.

She has very definitely attached herself to me over the last few weeks. I wondered if it would happen with someone her age, but things have really turned a corner. She told me she loved me today without me telling her first.