I see so clearly here

Sorry, no pictures, service problems.

This has been an incredibly hard trip on me so far, until this afternoon. I have been so far out of my comfort zone that I've had nothing to do but rely on the things that God puts in my path. Yesterday was the longest day ever. I got 2 hours of sleep Monday night, not because of nerves, my mind was just racing. Headed to Atlanta in the wee hours I felt sick, by the time we got to the airport I was in trouble. Just then Maura texted me and said that she and her husband would pray, because she called I thought about the two of us walking to burn off my stress, so I sprinted through the parking lot before we got our luggage, blessing 1. I felt some better until I saw the long lines of people waiting to check in, then I saw no line for first class. I forgot to tell you that we got 1st class tickets for about $118 more per ticket, so we didn't have to wait, blessing 2. Going through security I happened to hear my phone ring and it was my sweet brother in law, Landon. He called to say that he was so excited for us, and that we were following God and that we would be in his prayers all day, blessing 3. Then we got to board first and we had these awesome seats right in the front, blessing 4. Anyway that is how it went the entire day yesterday, when I needed something I got it. God was with me and I could see it.

I'm rambling to long on yesterday, today is what I wanted to tell you about. I woke up on the verge of a panic attack. The reason was (I think) is because of our appt. and the way we travel here is torture for me. I am riding in a van with windows that only push out at the bottom. There is no air condition and it is in the 90's. The windows are down but you are going to slow to feel any air. You are stopping and starting because it is a freefall, and you are bouncing up and down, back and forth. This makes me sick, but today I had to get it together to go to our appt. I read the list of verses that I brought along to help me and left. We had a new driver that didn't speak english, but his van was air conditioned, praise God. We got to our appt. to find out TADA, they didn't have all the necessary paperwork for Dania. I had mine, but they were missing theirs. Now we have to go explain to a man that doesn't understand us what is going on. Finally we were able to get a hold of previous driver who filled him in on where we needed to go. We came back to the hotel to try and track down who had our paperwork. It took a few hours and then our english speaking driver (because the other one thought we told him to leave) took us to get the paperwork and then take it back to the embassy. Well it still wasn't right and they are missing 2 other forms, praise God they took our application to process and allowed for us to get the missing forms Thursday. I've since found out that they probably do have the paperwork, because my person doesn't make mistakes, but this happens in this office frequently. So as of now everything is up in the air. I seriously doubt that it is likely for them to get the remaining papers Thursday, pass it to the visa dept and have it approved my Friday.

I am at a place that I realize that God is going to come through for me when I really need him, alot of times I want him, but I don't need to have happen what I want. I didn't want to battle anxiety, I did not want to run my head off, and I certainly didn't want to have to come home without her. The bottom line is that I have never been able to control one aspect of this process, and I can see God so clearly in all this.

The really good news is that Dania is healthy (minus a throaty cough) and I think she is pretty emotionally healthy as well. It feels comfortable even though we don't understand each other well. She is sweet and curious, and seems to trust us. If she has to go back to the O, and we come get her in a week or two, maybe that would be really good for her. She has never left the O, she came right before she was 4 and by the way she is looking out of the van, I have the feeling she is seeing this for the first time. The kids and nannies at the O are her family right now, we are just nice people to her. I have been on the phone and internet trying to get all this mess sorted out, and Nate has had the opportunity to really bond with her. He is so sweet and tender with her, and I am so thankful, because until this evening things have been crazy with me. I feel your prayers like I have never felt them before. There have been moments over these past few days that I didn't know if I could hang on, but all of a sudden I would feel a peace, and I have been finally able to enjoy this process.