Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I'm happy

I don't say that often enough, but I am and have been for a while. I have finally made peace with sadness, high expectations and lots of my shortcomings.  It feels good to be okay with the craziness of life, and let go of things that you can't control, and even if you could why would you want to? My own brain is still hard to live with, but progress is being made.

In November I joined the gym and I work out with sil Sandi 4 days a week, most weeks.  Nathan also works out with his friend at least 2 times a week, although he always tries for 3.  We both go at lunch time, that way the kids are on break from school and Nate would be coming home at that time, so we just meet up at the gym and then come home for a quick bite. I can't say that I love it, but I have seen some definite improvements over the past couple of months and I am sore at least half of the time.  Climbing the stairs to tuck kids in has become my walk of shame.  I climb slowly and complain on each and every step. 

We have finally decided to make this house our home after almost five years of living in it.  This house was in perfect condition when we bought it (at the wrong time in the market) and there was nothing for me to do with it to make it my own.  I take that back.  I could have done things to make it my own, I just never did. It never seemed like it was going to be a long term place for us at the time of purchase and so it felt temporary. We are finally going to "do" our formal living room.  It has consisted of leftover pieces from the other house and a sofa, loveseat, and chaise that sil Jenny got us for $600.  It was so not my style, but it worked and was cheap.  Nate is putting up shelves and all kinds of neat storage for the garage and it is looking great.  He also put up a really cute picket fence behind the basketball goal, to keep the ball from rolling and rolling down the steep slope off that side of the driveway.  I am going to paint it white and plant climbing roses on it, even though it is fairly shady over there. He and the boys are spending hours and hours in the woods clearing miles of trails for the 4wheelers and dirt bikes.  Even Roxy (the dog) has gotten in on the adventures.  She loves to ride on the 4 wheeler and then dig for moles while they clear, she comes home exhausted and filthy just like them.

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