Good things come to those who wait

This has definitely become my life's mantra. I know it is not scriptural, but I believe it is a godly attribute none the less. I have repeated this phrase to my friends and family for years. Sometimes I get the rolling eyes and "I know, I know" from my kids, but it doesn't deter me from continually saying it. I have reaped so many benefits from living this way and as I was pondering the situation with Dania I began to see it transcend that area as well. I will start at the beginning of my journey in learning to wait.

The story begins in 1994 when Nate and I first got married. He was working for his Dad and I was a secretary working for $7 an hour. We decided not to use ANY of the money I made, and after tithing on it the rest went straight into a savings account. My coworkers and some friends that had 2 incomes were buying new cars and indulging in some really nice vacations, sometimes I would come home from work and whine to Nathan about our stuff, and he would always say, "do you want to enjoy a few years right now, or do you want to enjoy the rest of your life." Thus began the mantra in my head, I would tell myself all the time "good things come to those who wait." Because we were learning to deny ourselves it was easier to save some of Nate's money as well and after 2 years of marriage we took $600 out of savings, put the tent in the back of our 1986 chocolate Toyota corolla and headed west. We went to the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone for 12 days of one of the best trips of our lives to date. I got pregnant that fall and began to plan for early retirement and a move out of our apartment into something more permanent. We had saved $15,000 by then and a mobile home was looking like our best option. I can't tell you how I dreaded living in a trailer. I did not grow up in the south, and I had never really seen them except in trailer parks far from where I lived. However we could buy a used one that was only a couple years old for $15,000 so we decided that for 3 years we would live in that trailer with no mortgage or rent and save money. 3 years turned to 7 and one sweet baby in a 2 bedroom trailer turned to 3 sweet children under foot 24/7. My mantra became my sanity during those long, difficult years of waiting for a "real" house. Financially we were set up in a way that alleviated a lot of stress that young marrieds so often face. It was so difficult to be a stay at home mom and live in cramped quarters and depression started to affect me at that time. I didn't know that my second pregnancy knocked my already unstable hormones into overdrive, and thus began my second journey of learning that good things come to those who wait.

In 1997 anxiety, sickness and depression became a constant companion. I would spend the next 7 years fighting a spiritual and physical battle that drove me into the presence of God like I had never known before. In the beginning I kept my struggle to myself and tried to find peace, but as I got worse my pride and shame crumbled and everyone knew of my trials. I was begging God for healing, I was asking my friends for constant prayer, and I was trying to raise 3 small boys. I couldn't understand why God was allowing me to suffer for so long. We fasted, we prayed, I sought medical help and I waited and waited. Looking back now I can see how it was good to have to wait. My relationship with the Lord was solidified in a way that I can't explain, somehow that ordeal gave me a faith that I would never have had. I also am so grateful now for good health. I used to wake up every day nauseous, weary, and sick. It was a struggle to go anywhere, even the grocery store was torture. Probably 2 or 3 days don't pass that I am not so grateful for my health and appreciate it. I also have so much more compassion for people with chronic illness or pain.

Finally in regards to Dania I see how this wait has caused my heartstrings to become attached to her. If we had just flown through this process I know that I would not have loved her or valued the experience like I do now. The wait for her has taught me so much about God's love for us, how he pursues us, and his longing for us to be reconciled to him. All that I have learned thus far in this adoption is for a post of its own, but I can't help but include her in this one because she is the reason I have been saying to myself recently, "good things come to those who wait." Waiting for things that we desire is so important for our character development. I must have had lots to learn because the story of my life seems to be "hurry up and wait." I can't say for certain about Dania yet, but in the other areas of my life I can see how God's timing is perfect. I still don't understand all of the reasons of why and what, but I know that God is good. Our society is so geared for quick fixes and instant answers that we are spoiled and often forget that no matter who or what you are waiting for , "good things come to those who wait."