I've been thinking a lot lately about personal sin. I've noticed the way my children view their own sin and I've found it interesting. Which has led me to also spend a great deal of time thinking about the sin in my own life and have drawn some conclusions based on my experience.
1. The guilty sinner -
2. The blame shifter sinner -
3. The oblivious sinner -
4. The carefree sinner -
5. The good sinner - the type of person that sees sin for what it is, ask for forgiveness and truly endeavors to sin no more.
I'm sure that there are 1000 other categories and descriptions that could be used but this is how it has been unfolding in my own head. Having children makes it easier to notice the variety of different patterns that are out there.
I've noticed that the guilty sinner is under a lot of condemnation. They compare themselves to others, lean towards legalism and tend to do quite a bit of cleansing and purging. (the wrath of God is just around the corner) They do take their sin seriously and are grieved over it, which can be a good thing, but they would probably enjoy carrying a little whip around to beat themselves up with.
The blame shifters are usually defensive people. It is hard for them to admit to wrongdoing and if they do there is usually a big fat "but" at the end of the apology. They have a sense of entitlement and a high sense of "fairness" especially in regards to themselves. I definitely have one of these in my home and at least as far as children go, I find them incredibly difficult to parent.
The oblivious sinner doesn't think before they act or speak. A lot of times they don't even see sin for what it is. The good side of these types are they are usually quick to say sorry and forgive others easily. I have one of these in the home.
The carefree sinner will admit to sin but often don't think that sin is serious. They have a " I'm doing the best I can mentality". They tend to not be judgmental towards others.
And of course the "good sinner" is perfectly clear. They are the people that it is so easy to be around when you are in a mess because they are rationale, encouraging and diplomatic. I am fortunate to have one of these in my home.
When it comes to me personally I think that I have a sinning disorder. I am neither of the above, I am all of the above. At times I am the biggest loser on the planet and deserve to never see the light of day. In my marriage I have for sure been the blame shifter -" it is so not my fault that the door was slammed so hard that the house shook." or "the frying pan wants to be lifted up over my head and come crashing down." That is definitely my less mature self that I haven't seen in quite a number of years, yet she is familiar. I am not an oblivious sinner at all. (I mean I know that as I grow I will be further enlightened to myself. But I am pretty introspective for that. (you could also use the word self focused) If I sin, I know exactly what I'm doing and sometimes even like it a little. The carefree sinner is also the lazy side of me, which appears often if I am to be truthful. I think about something, mull it over and then decide to give myself a break because I am so "good" otherwise.
In dealing with my children about their cute little black hearts, it has forced me to take a good hard look at what I am modeling for them or just passing on to them. It easy to let certain things slide because I so often let them slide with myself, or I can become the "UNMERCIFUL" because I see the exact same thing as before, only it frightens me because I don't want them to turn out like me. It is also so much easier (in my opinion) to see sin for what it truly is when you have little people under foot all day. Today I observed one of my children loading the dishwasher, they became agitated because something wouldn't fit. I was standing there thinking "oh my goodness, they are totally in sin" even though I couldn't point to an exact reference. There was huffing, grunting and facial attitude that was clearly evident of a heart going bad. They didn't ask nicely for help. They didn't try with a good attitude, and they weren't being patient in the least. Normally I would have stepped in to help or just say "STOP THAT", this time I asked them what was going on inside and had a little discussion about it. I so desire to have a house full of "good sinners", so my goal for now is going to be working towards that with myself and the 3 little people that God has entrusted to me.
9 comments:
Really good post Cat. Lots to consider. :)
I liked it too...! As I was reading, I was (unfortunately, sort of pompously) assigning the various sinner types to people that I know or have known. Like, " Oh yes ,'so and so' is a complete blame shifter, Yep!" But when I got to trying to define myself, I felt much like you, like I am an inseparable mix of all the above. Influenced by different situations, different people, probably even different times of the day. But I guess this just goes to show how complex our internal selves are and that we often demonstrate one type of behavior to the world but are struggling internally in many different ways. I hope that I can model being a good sinner to my kids even after my late afternoon collapse. Thanks for posting this it has really encouraged me to try and evaluate what I model more consistently.
Very good analysis. I sin every which way as well.
Although not as much a guilty sinner these days, thank God I've become more secure.
That is not a good, joyful life.
I am definitely carefree and oblivious though...and can conveniently try to shift blame.
Thanks for the challenge to model well.
What a wonderfully insightful post. Like you, I have blame shifters among my kids. As for me, I tend toward feeling guilty, and I carry that whip around that you mention, figuratively speaking. I have grown alot in this area, however, thank God.
You're also correct about how all of this affects our parenting. I often find myself saying to my children when they blame their siblings for their sins: "And what part did YOU play in creating the problem?" I want them to understand that even if they are only partly to blame, they are still partly to blame. I want them to be "good sinners", as you so aptly expressed it. Thanks for sharing this.
Great post. I would add "optimistic sinner". I sort of notice when I am blame-shifting, etc, and I rarely say "I'm doing the best that I can". My problem is that I say "oh, well. I'll do better tomorrow."
Every day... Since "he who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it, sins".
Oh, and I forgot the funniest blame shifting story I know of.
Noah (who was in trouble) at age 6, "If Adam hadn't have aten that apple, I wouldn't be having this problem!" Exact quote.
Ash, yes I to could not help but think of adults who fit the profile. Oh well I do the best I can. lol
Terry, Yes thank God that I to have traded in my whip for just the occasional smack.
Tonya, I crack up over that one every now and again.
Tonya,
Only you could even make sinning an optimistic opportunity.
Gluttony is a very interesting sin. Read what I have to say about it at peoplepowergranny.blogspot.com. I also invite you to vote in my poll after you read my post. You make some good observations in your post.
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